Finally….I’m coming back home!!!

It has been 4 months since I went here in Manila to work at US Autoparts Pasig (formerly MBSTEK Pasig)…I decided to leave Legazpi for a bunch of reasons: I want to be with my family (mama, papa, sisters and brother) whom I have been separated for 12 years because I stayed with my grandmother, another thing is that I want to help my mama in paying her bank debt amounting to 35,000 pesos (which is not her fault, anyway), and to think things over regarding my walk with Christ.

I love my new workplace–the people are great, and my work as a QA gives me a chance to hone my skills and contribute to for the benefit of the company. They even recognized me as one of the top performers of the noteswriting team…

I have also helped pay off the debts of mama (Praise God!), and I have spent quality time with my family…Aside from that, the huge paycheck that I am receiving gives me the chance to buy things which I cannot afford before.. I managed to buy an electric guitar, a keyboard, and lots of books, clothes, food, and so much more! I was really having a good time…

But when I ride the MRT after work, that’s the time that I can ponder on things that have been happening to me—I usually ask God what does he want me to do in the metropolis…Did I made the right choice of leaving the ministry that God has entrusted to me for the past 2 years? Or am I just lusting over the thought of earning more money and accelerating the corporate ladder? I thought to myself, with the money I’m currently earning, I can now support my family and the ministry in Bicol…anytime I can send things or money in Bicol to be used for ministry activities…Yes, I’ll just be contented on being a “financier”…maybe this was what God called me to do..

But do you know what? Even if I am earning thrice my salary in Bicol and being recognized as one of the cream of the crop, I FEEL UNHAPPY…I FEEL USELESS…I FEEL EMPTINESS…Yes, I am reunited with my family (and they are all very much happy), I gained respect and admiration from others, and I have more money to spend…But why am I still feeling this way? I asked the Lord many times… Lord, have I really made the right decision?

I was thinking about this when my boss texted me to watch “In Pursuit of HAPPYness” in HBO. He said that I will learn something about it. And so I watched it. Every scene in the movie struck my inner being, I managed to control my tears (because my mother was watching with me that time), and the words of Chris Gardner (the main character in the movie) stuck to me: Don’t let anyone tell you that you cannot do anything…If you have a dream, protect it…And it you want something, go get it…PERIOD.

These very words struck my heart…and all the memories of being in the ministry came back to me…”If you have a dream….protect it. I asked the Lord, what is my dream?” What is my real purpose in life? Am I really happy with my recent situation? There’s something telling me…shouting inside my head…You have to go back in Bicol…go back to your ministry…But I asked God, “What about my family? I will certainly break their heart…What about my financial stability? My salary would surely backslide 3 times lower…What about my dream of climbing the corporate ladder? All of these questions came rushing through my mind…

But this verse also flashed as if answering my questions—Matthew 6:33 “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you”…Then it suddenly hit me. I have to go back to Legazpi and be back in the ministry.

The next day, (April 22) I only have this goal in mind—Lord, if it is your will…I will be going back to Bicol and be back in the ministry. And so I made a letter of request stating about my intention of going back to Legaspi but I did not include the reason about the ministry (although that is the primary reason why I am totally decided to go back). I don’t care about the money or the prestige anymore—all I want is to go back where I have been planted and join the plow once again to serve.

Of course it was not that easy. My superiors are reluctant to allow me to go back in Legaspi, my mother was hysterical upon knowing my decision but upon explaining to them my burden and my desire to pursue my calling they said…If that makes you happy, then go, you have our blessing.

Whew! I was so much relieved! Within 4 days, my request for transfer was approved, I was cleared from any liabilities and am asked to report to US Autoparts Legazpi on April 29. As of this writing (April 27), I have packed all my things…I am leaving for Bicol this night around 8:30 pm via Isarog Lines..

This is it Lord…You willed for this to happen…You made me experience 4 months pondering on things, preparing me for bigger tasks for the ministry when I arrive in Bicol. I AM ON FIRE AND READY TO SERVE ONCE AGAIN…And I believe that you will take care of my family as I go back to Bicol where you called me to serve…